


No Way!

by PBJellie



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, It's totally goth you guys, One-Sided Relationship, so goth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 05:58:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13804890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PBJellie/pseuds/PBJellie
Summary: The Goth Kids find an abandoned building and are amazed.





	No Way!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [daikenkai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/daikenkai/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Mary! I hope you like it!

“No way, no way,” Michael said, ashing his cigarette against the snowy sidewalk. 

“Yes, way,” Henrietta reassured, stomping on a butt, the ashes smoldering from a vibrant red to a dull grey. He holder, the vintage one with the pearl inlay, her favorite, had been snapped in half by her conformist twerp of a brother. She wasn’t going to let that ruin her week though, it was like that punk was from another planet. No normal human would ever break her stuff. 

Not that he was a cool kind of weird. No, Bradley managed to be super lame in a banal way. He was a conformist, even in his oddities. 

“I bet it’s an ancient temple where our ancestors worshipped false prophets, being led astray by their carnal lust, then overcome with the desire to self-mutilate until their bodies lost the ability to manufacture blood,” Firkle whispered, causing Henrietta and Michael to jump. Secretly, Henrietta wished she was as hardcore as Firkle. He was totally goth and super hardcore. 

“Wicked,” Pete smiled, hands pressed against the dirty glass of their new found temple. He motioned for the group to come closer as he used his stupid sweater, the one that his Nan insisted her war, to clean the glass. Henrietta knew it wasn’t goth, but his Nan had looked so concerned. Anyways, conformists never listened to their guardians, so in a roundabout way wearing the neon green sweater she knitted was goth. 

“It’s probably haunted,” Michael suggested, flipping his hair in Henrietta’s direction. She thought it was mad hot, but then realized that was a conformist thought. 

“With the souls of disappointed followers, seeking revenge for their pointless bloodshed,” Firkle whispered. Again the group was startled, but it was certain he was very goth. 

“Yea,” Michael agreed as Pete kept wiping grime for the window. 

“Look, you guys,” Pete pointed at a logo Henrietta almost remembered, blue with a yellow border. What was it? A box with some unintelligible letters, half peeling away and the rest sun-bleached. Being sun-bleached was not goth, it was a total poser move. Henrietta thought that maybe, just maybe the building was cool anyway, especially if what Firkle said was true. 

“No way!” Henrietta exclaimed, so they all knew she was still totally into it, “it’s like Southern Gothic.” 

“What?” Michael asked, sounding a bit like he didn’t believe her, like she wasn’t goth enough to know about their historical architecture. That pierced her very soul, but other than scowling, she did not react. 

“It’s like American Gothic,” Pete argued, wiping his sweater against his pants. Now that he was disagreeing with her, she was inclined to think that the sweater was not goth. 

“Ugh, not important,” Michael rolled his eyes, flipping his hair another time. It was totally hot, even if that made her a conformist. It’s not like she was a loser wannabe prep because she thought her friends lips were totally kissable. They were.

It’s not like goths had their own sets of facts, or anything. 

“Customers,” a haunting voice called out. They looked around, trying to see where it was coming from but to no avail. 

“Told you it was haunted. The ghosts have come to feast on our flesh.” 

Christ, Firkle was intense. Not that Henrietta believed in Christ, that would be conformist. 

“No way,” the rest of the group gasped in unison. 

“You’ve come to rent movies,” the voice eerily moaned. “DVD rental is not obsolete.” 

“No way,” Pete was pointing to a figure coming out from behind the abandoned building. 

Henrietta expected to hear another chorus of responses, but instead the group collectively tore ass away from the building. They panted heavily as they rounded the block, because exercise was not goth.


End file.
